So Erin and I were talking about how we all need to be more open to talking about mom. Happy memories are easy enough, but sometimes the sad and sentimental things are good for all of us so that we make sure we are keeping her as a part of our lives. I like the idea of all of us writing down specific family memories and putting them in a special book. I was thinking that if we all send each other emails every time we think of some little story, then we will remember them when the time comes and have them all collected in one place. I am going to try to get the ball rolling. Here is something I just thought of last week. I may revise it as a better story later, but here goes:
Mom was always so good about letting us all have such special birthday parties. Many were themed and surely involved much more planning then we ever realized. We usually got to pick out our favorite party plates that had Barbies or Ninja Turtles on them and got all the silly party favors that went with. I remember that one summer when I was probably in 2nd or 3rd Grade, mom has Mary McMahon take me to Pick'n'Save to look for such party items. Obviously, I realize now that money was tight and it seemed like such a wasteful thing to buy the expensive ones that you can only get at places like ToysRUs. I, obviously not having any concept of such things, told Mary I did not want to buy any of the boring ones they had at Pick'n'Save. Since she, not being my mother, didn't have much say in the matter accepted this and must have had to go tell the news to Mom. I don't know how that side of the conversation went. All I know is that mom took me and let me pick out my favorite ones somewhere else. At the time it just seemed the normal thing that any mom would do for their daughter for her birthday, but I later realized what a big deal it was. I know finances were probably always a very big stress for Mom, but she did everything in her power to never let us kids realize that. Some moms would have just said, "We are just going to get plain ones this time. It is not a big deal...etc." And I can't help but wonder that I wouldn't even say such a thing to my kids. I don't think mom spoiled me in this instance, I just think she realized in the long run it was not a big deal to just do this small thing to make her daughter happy. What a good mom she was. I hope I remember that and follow her good example.
I love you all. No pressure to send your own stories now, just when you feel inspired.
my favorite story is one we all know well. It is the infamous day when mom woke us up on a friday (school day) morning, and asked us if we wanted to go to school, or to disneyland. and mary said school (because she is crazy, but that is beside the point) and mom said that we were going to skip school and go to disneyland! yay, we were all so excited.
not to mention, that this was only one of many trips that we got to take to disneyland as kids. mom always made a special effort to take family vacations from trips to del mar to our fun summers at the tyler place. she really wanted us to have fun memories like the ones that she cherished from her summers at rocky point.
so, while I am at it, I am going to bullet point a few other memories that we can put in more detail at a later date:
- mom playing catch with danny (will clark) in the front yard
- mom getting dan majerle's (had to google the spelling) autograph on a suns trading card that she happened to have in her purse
- mom falling asleep in random places like church and the orthodontist's office - mom being a picky eater
- mom slow-jogging places instead of walking
- mom winning the sedona tennis tournament with pete when most people in her condition probably would not have played
- letting us build forts and leave them up for days in the living room
- letting us have ditch-days from school
- always letting us use her car even if she needed it - and one time meg found her walking to the bus stop to go to work because she had loaned one of us the car
- always throwing fun st. patrick's day parties, like the time we had a mini-carnival in the backyard
- never buying herself new clothes or new anything - tons of her clothes were hand-me-downs from friends, and most of our furniture came from someone else as well
- the way she always made christmas morning so special (dad too)
- how excited she got about big sporting events
- the time that she and danny and I went to the diamondbacks world series game to watch on the big screen outside the stadium just because she wanted to be in the mix, but then ended up getting tickets from someone selling them outside
- how she used to sing "you are my sunshine" to us when we were little
- how she always sat outside on the back porch early in the morning to cough because that was when it was the worst
- she was always so genuinely excited about whatever each of us kids was doing and she was always so excited to hear our voices on the phone after we girls had gone away to college
- how she loved ricky nelson
well, that is lot, but once you get on a roll it is hard to stop. please feel free to add to any of these. I just thought I would write them down as they were coming to me.
I agree with mary that it is important to keep track of these things and to hear what other people remember. it is a nice way to keep mom in our thoughts and as part of our everyday lives.